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Relationship as a Doorway to Evolution: Opening the Divine

by Deb Schnitta

Relationships offer the deepest place of sustenance to us as human beings. Together, whether in a partnership of two or a group of thousands, we can accomplish much more than we can as solitary beings. We come together and share ideas, gain momentum from one another and enjoy the creative actions of shared energy. We also find the places of unhealed consciousness that exist within each of us, those that would not be apparent were there not another individual to connect with, to disagree with or to love.

When we move from solitary action we step into the area of evolution. Here we test our defenses and strategies whether or not we intend to look inward at our choices in a conscious way. By being in proximity to another person with thoughts, feelings and history, we change the playground of our own creations. It may be through enjoying the company of another that we seek out connection and step beyond a previous place of comfort. It may be that through the lens of a friend that we learn about ourselves in ways we could not, looking through our own eyes.

To reap the riches of relationship is part of the path of evolution. To learn to be, to truly express who we are as beings of spirit infused in bodies of thought, emotion, and history is part of the path of enlightenment. It is part of the path of living a life of joy here now.

Nothing serves as a greater mirror than connection with an intimate other. Whether this is a child that questions your authority as he or she seeks to author their own authority, or a sibling that plays a role in a long rehearsed and not yet conscious dance of engaging and isolation, connection with another opens the mirror to your own Soul in ways one could not experience alone. To learn patience opens the opportunity for non-attachment. To learn cooperation opens the opportunity for co-creation.

Patience and cooperation are tools of the personality. They allow us to develop greater range of connection with others, greater capacity to experience smooth and harmonious relationships. Non-attachment and co-creation are tools of the Soul. They are qualities of action that exist when the Soul is present and has the ability to create. Often they require the mind, the habits of the personality to be soft enough to reach for a moment of ease, to let go of old patterns of being right, of struggle or reinforcing the ego. In short, a moment of surrender for the old opens a great glimpse into the depth of the capacity of the Soul.

As we transition from ego based choices to ones that come from a higher perspective the choices of the personality do not simply disappear. The choices now arise from balance, from a win-win strategy rather than winning over another. Each time we learn to create in this way, we reaffirm our commitment to ourselves, our larger selves. We step outside duality and open to living life from higher flows. Along the way daily life becomes more joyful, more abundant and more love filled.

Each action we take infused in this way allows the parts of our personalities that have not yet learned to open freely to simply take a breath. No longer a struggle for survival, we observe the ease that transpires in a given situation and our curiosity nudges us forward. We may wait, observing over and over again before this single aspect of our personality feels confident enough to step outside its defense. We may simply enjoy the freedom of the lack of tightness that has arisen.

As the personality accumulates more and more experiences of this nature, it begins to seek out the opportunity to live unencumbered. It yearns for connection in deeper ways. It seeks guidance from higher flows and it opens to creating from this place of inspiration. Words like purpose and ease begin to take center stage for the mind. No longer operating under the illusion that the personality must know everything to have a plan, greater capacity to realize the Soul’s contributions begin to become known. Here the personality begins to become Soul infused. It still has likes and dislikes, it still has dreams and fears, but it also realizes it has access to strength and wisdom far beyond its own life experiences. If curious enough, the personality will seek out ways to consciously connect with this larger loving presence. Through meditation and quiet, the mind begins to open to the depths of untouched potential. It returns here freely to pause from how it thinks things should be, and explores other options it would not have created on its own.

As the mind starts to open in this way it creates the opportunity for ease to be present in the changes that transpire. When the mind is tight and holding onto how it thinks or fears things will be, it slows the rate of growth and establishes a foothold in an imagined battle. Often in this moment a pattern from the past has arisen from the stores of consciousness of life experiences and has begun expressing itself. The forward momentum stops, the personality regroups and through a process that remains largely unconscious, slips back into the old and familiar.

Each time the personality has the opportunity to move in and out of the process of choice, it learns that it can co-exist with the larger flows, the Soul. Joy begins to emerge as the personality recognizes the power from within, the union of the personality with this higher wisdom. Without the personality the Soul would have little impact. Without the Soul the personality would be limited to create from one aspect of a palette, creating new expressions that closely mimicked others. Both are suitable paths of learning.

The Soul as a wise and loving part of us simply waits. It trusts that when the personality is ready it will open to what is next. The Soul as an extension of our larger consciousness does not recreate old patterns from the past, but recognizes that it will be part of that dance regardless. Each time the personality opens to a larger stream of consciousness the opportunity for transformation occurs. This may be the deepening of the ability to ask for help. It may be the capacity to wait and not move into action while larger streams of flow come together. It may be the risk to open to deeper love. The Soul as witness to this beautiful part of evolution supports this transformation through its presence. When we align here, we feel the support, we recognize the opportunities and we find the capacity to speak from wisdom far beyond our minds. In a moment of grace we have touched the Divine.

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